You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
