I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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