oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
