If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
