I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I will die if light touches me.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
