we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
