i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
