Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
