Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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