she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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