just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You've changed since you got that strap on
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
