Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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