Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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