I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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