you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
