so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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