I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
