I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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