remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
