Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize