I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
