I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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