youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
