I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
