There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
