Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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