oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
