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Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Randomize
