thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
