i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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