Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
home. puking in laundry basket.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
