He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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