thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
