My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
