Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
