So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
