im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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