Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
