I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I skipped work to stalk him.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
