So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Don't make out with my wife yet
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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