I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
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