we're blogging at a bar
Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
