No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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