When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
