I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
