he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
