So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just had sex on a roof
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
