Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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