i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
