You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
