We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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