So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
