i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize