No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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