Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
