well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
