Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
