at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
