i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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