Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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