Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
