Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
