I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
