That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He? As in you personified your dick?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
