went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
