if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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