I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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