Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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