I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
