whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
